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Most girls will go saying that their mothers are their role models in life. When I think about having to give a speech on my wedding or a birthday , my mother is not a person I look up to at all. I do not discredit you for trying and thinking that you are doing your best though. I would be sad if my children do not look up to me. I am sorry if you feel sad if you ever know.

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The more I’m living in this household the more I want to get the fuck out. There’s the pompous one and the accusatory & demanding one. If all of us were housemates, I think the house could end up in ashes.

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Lost 2 kilos and now 47. Gaining to 52 is not happening because the most it went up to is 50. Fasting month just started. I hope the universe leads the good minerals and atoms to me.

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Going 21 this year, still keeping trivial matters.

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What decree of sadness does one have to feel to say that one’s heart has been broken?

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i have come to a point that i am “me” enough to a point that most of the people around me does not like it.

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have you ever heard music so beautiful that you actually cried? its Florence + the Machine, Enya and Radiohead so far.

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i’ve neatly covered every inch of earth with flowers and grass to sustain from what’s lying underneath but you just had to introduce the foul pollutants of insecticide on them pure organic shit.

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Spent the whole afternoon checking out Universities in Malaysia. Yes Malaysia. Since my parents (my dad to be exact) love me so much they’d rather have me furthering my studies in a place that is sometimes across some state borders (when they’re in JB) and other times across the causeway (when they’re at work in Singapore).

Found some Graphic Comms Degree and according to my research (which I am really good at) they are really affordable.

SGD30 000 for course fees. SGD700 for accommodation a month. Add in another SGD1 000 for application fees and what not.

What’s great is that the 2 programmes I’m eying at have UK and Aussie recognition thingy that allows final year studies in the main campus. Fuck yeah.

How to make this shit come true? WORK AND SAVE LIKE FUCK FOR ONE YEAR. YES KIN YOU CAN DO IT. PLAN BETTER GO WELL!

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i’m a slow reader.. i take at least 3 months to complete one book.

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i want to go out and interact with people. i want to share my ideas and thoughts. im curious about people’s thoughts and i just want to know. its interesting. observing is one and im getting bored of judging. i just want to know how people think. how i will react to the things they say and vice versa. what are the chances of interacting with a total stranger and continuing a decent conversation for say, 10 mins? that would be really nice.

i just want new people in my life.

i want to feel that the skies will be clear eventually after the storm that clouds the sea of thoughts in my mind.

(not implying anything to those poeple i know now. you guys are aweosme.)

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i yearn for things at its simplest state. i want it pure and real. i want everything to be real. then again, how do we seperate the truth from the lies.